Down Go “Da Birds”

Despite the incredible first 52 seconds of the last game of the NFC playoffs, the Philadelphia Eagles managed to fuck-up their winning streak and play piss-poorly against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Now, don’t believe for a second that I’m at ALL an Eagles fan, or even a football fan at all, or even one who watches sports on television, or even one who watches television all that much, BUT! - I did watch much of “the big game” on Sunday, and I’m happy that their season is over so I don’t have to make small-talk with the plebes about how “da birds” (the local parlance for “The Philadelphia Eagles Football Team”) are doing, and if I think they’re going to go “all the way” or not (which reminds me of George Carlin’s schtick about football and gay sex metaphors).

It’s not surprising that they lost - they haven’t won their division since 1980, when I was just 4 years old - but still, you should see the hangdog faces around town. It’s as if our collective dog just died.

Let’s bury this puppy and move on.